A Planners Guide to Destination Weddings in Tuscany
Under the Tuscan Sun
For an insider’s perspective on the ins and outs of planning a wedding in Tuscany, we sat down and chatted with destination expert Brenda Babcock.
Brenda left the high fashion world of NYC and moved to Italy over a decade ago to follow her dream of producing exquisite weddings across the Italian coast. Formerly a vice president at Vera Wang, Brenda’s impeccable style and flawless execution have found their true calling in the wedding world. Now a seasoned wedding planner, Brenda remains loyal to Italy and only plans weddings within the country, maintaining her reputation as a certified expert on all the best things that Italy has to offer. Tuscany holds a special place in her heart, and she finds herself drawn to the region time after time again. We are incredibly lucky to have her join us here for the inside scoop on planning your nuptials under the Tuscan sun (or moon!).
WHAT TO EXPECT FOR YOUR DESTINATION WEDDING IN TUSCANY
A wedding in Tuscany is truly unique in that no matter how large or small the celebration, it will always be intimate by definition. The majority of weddings are in villas deep in the countryside which means that you and your guests are transported away from the rest of the world for those 2-3 days. Even during high tourist season there will only be you and your guests at your villa. It is such a special experience since aside from the planned events, the guests will be able to get to know one another at the villa relaxing throughout the day. They will have the opportunity to mix each morning over breakfast, while lolling by the pool in the afternoons or when hanging at the bar for an aperitivo or for a late night cap. Every guest will now that everyone they see at the villa is part of the group and someone near and dear to the couple. This is perhaps my favorite part of any destination wedding celebration. Having the time over multiple days to have plenty of time to get to know one another.
I encourage the couples to imagine the villa as their own private villa in Tuscany where they are hosting their wedding with their favorite people as their guests. This is a three day, once in a lifetime, tour de force that cannot be replicated by simply returning to that same villa in Tuscany by themselves.
BEST KEPT SECRET OF TUSCANY VENUE SEARCHING
There is nothing so critical as the selection of the ideal villa for the wedding celebration. The foundation of their wedding will be built around the villa and it will either facilitate the planning or hinder a smooth flow. In almost all cases not only will the villa host the wedding and all three days of events but the guests will also sleep there onsite. So it needs to combine both the “wow” factor that you want for you wedding events and photographs with the creature comforts required for the lodging. When a client contacts me to plan their wedding the first two things that I need to know are the group size and the desired wedding budget. From there I can start to make recommendations and little by little we hone in on the perfect villa for them. At least 50% of my clients choose their wedding location without making a trip to Italy to scout. I am able to guide them to the point where they feel comfortable choosing and booking without traveling here in person. Of course they are welcome to fly over to see for themselves but often that is not possible within the necessary time frame.
For the best experience I highly recommend selecting a villa that can accommodate everyone onsite and that is also able to host three days of weddings events from the welcome dinner through the wedding day. This will be more fun and relaxing for everyone and the guests won’t be shuffled back and forth every day for the events. Dividing the group up requires you to have an A list and a B list of who gets to stay with you at your villa and hang out with you during the days and who is relegated to staying offsite. In the Tuscan countryside distances that look short on a map can be significant and the guests will not be able to drive back to their villas after the events since they will have been drinking. We can arrange for transportation but it is an additional layer and nuisance that can be avoided with good planning.
There are plenty of scenic locations of different sizes and budget ranges for a dream Tuscan wedding and so matching your logistics for the specifics of you group size, budget, preferences, etc. is key.
There are no silver bullet locations and I highly encourage the couple to be realistic about their budget constraints from the beginning when evaluating villas. A wedding with 30 guests and a $20,000 budget should be looking at different locations than a group with 30 guests and a budget of $100,000. Similarly the ideal location for a 30 person wedding is different from that of a 150 person wedding.
WEDDING VENUE QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD BE ASKING
1) What is the exclusive cost per night of the villa and how many persons does it sleep with regular occupancy (two persons per room) and up to how many people with extra beds? Most villas (hotels) in Tuscany are small and sleep from 6-50 persons. Even a handful of the largest only sleep up to about 120-150 persons. Tuscan villas are more like a countryside inn than a “hotel”.
2) How many nights minimum are you required to book? If more than 3-4 nights then I would forget that location unless you will have a very small group of intimate family, friends of fewer than 8 persons who you are absolutely certain will stay for the whole week. Usually few aside from the couple and their parents will stay for more than 3-4 nights and I have found 3 nights to be the magic number. The guests will have traveled so far to get to Italy and while here will want to see Florence, Venice, Rome, Pompeii, the Amalfi Coast, etc. before returning home. So choosing a villa that only requires a 2-3 night minimum is key and then planning the events around those 3 nights. If the couple or anyone wants to arrive early or stay later they are welcome to do so by tacking on extra days at the hotel but you will want to have the hotel exclusive during the wedding day events.
3) How late can you have music and a party outdoors? How late indoors and if indoors where would it be held and how many people can fit comfortably into that space? One of the best things about a wedding in Tuscany is that the after dinner dance parties are amazing. In many places you can have music and partying all night long. I cannot tell you how many weddings I have had in Tuscany that have finished at sunrise. It is absolutely magical to dance under the stars late into the night with a great band or dj and something that is so rare at a wedding in the US.
4) What are the rain/cold/inclement weather back up options to an outdoor event? This is important since there is a fair chance that you will need these. This is a quick way to blow up your budget by having to build a tent or even two that you had not budgeted for.
Keep in mind that the villa/hotel is advising you with their own interests in mind and they have to sell the hotel all season long. While it is certainly possible to have a wonderful wedding in Tuscany in April or October it is likely to be too cold to have the dinner events comfortably outside without a tent and space heaters. They will likely offer a discount for this period but by the time that you build a tent or two and rent space heaters you may have eaten up any of the savings that were offered. This is particularly a problem for larger groups since it is harder to squeeze them into spaces that are not adequately large.
Ceremony Tips:
Civil or Symbolic?
All types of ceremonies are possible in Italy. Civil and Catholic ceremonies just require a bit more work and expert guidance. A symbolic wedding can be religious or secular but it has no legal standing. There is nothing easier than a symbolic wedding since no documentation is required. The officiant could be anyone, it could be a friend or a relative or we can arrange for an officiant. With a symbolic ceremony you would need to have a civil wedding where you live before coming over to Italy. I once had a couple who ran off to Vegas for their legal wedding a few months before their symbolic wedding celebration in Italy. The majority of weddings in Italy are symbolic.
But some couples really want to have it all in one and are willing to do the work and jump through the hoops required. As mentioned if taking this route it is important to have someone experienced and diligent in Italy to guide you through.
A strictly civil ceremony can usually only take place in the designated civil hall of any given city or town in Italy. Fortunately the Italians are romantics and they usually dedicate one or several of the most historic and beautiful locations to civil ceremonies. Occasionally a town will consent to having the civil ceremony at your private villa but that depends on each town and this is more of an exception than a rule. Your experienced wedding planner can guide you in choosing the right villa if this is your strong preference.
The steps required vary by country but for the US and almost every other country the first step is to contact the Italian Consulate with jurisdiction over where you live to ask what is required. This will certainly include original copies of your birth certificates and an apostille (an international seal that can be requested online together with the birth certificate). Other documents may be required and vary with each consulate, particularly if either of the spouses have had a prior marriage.
To your appointment at the Italian Consulate you will be required to bring with you 2-4 witnesses (it varies according to the consulate) who are not family members. These witnesses will be swearing under oath that you have no impediments to marriage according to the law. The Italian government will not be verifying whether either of the spouses is already married to someone else or whether the spouses are first cousins who are not allowed to marry by law. Your witnesses will be testifying on your behalf under penalty of perjury to this end.
There are Italian Consulates throughout the US in NYC, Washington DC, Miami, Philadelphia, Boston, Houston, Chicago, Detroit, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Here is a link to the consulates in the US which also lists the jurisdiction of each location. If you live in Mississippi, for example, you would be required to go to the Miami Consulate to provide sworn testimony to the consular officer there. You cannot choose to go to Houston instead. https://ambwashingtondc.esteri.it/ambasciata_washington/en/informazioni_e_servizi/la_rete_consolare
In addition most foreigners should plan to arrive in Italy at least 5 days in advance as they will be required to do a “nulla osta/dichiarazione giurata” (a sworn statement) with a notary public at the American Embassy in Rome, Florence, Milan or Naples. These appointments must be made in advance and for most locations are only available on Tuesdays and Thursdays although the US Consulate in Naples schedules appointments every morning, Monday - Friday. (If you are curious as to why Naples it is because there is a large US military base nearby and so there are more Americans living in the vicinity in need of consular services).
I always say that getting legally married in Italy is not difficult…the second time. It requires patience, precision and guidance. The hardest part is the Italian Consulate in the US. You are in luck if you live in a city where there is a consulate, such as San Francisco, it is much easier for the couple to have a legal wedding in Italy. There are a series of appointments that need to be schedule with precision and failure to fulfil any of these will result in not being able to get legally married in Italy. The process can begin up to six months before the wedding day.
NAVIGATING AROUND TUSCANY TIPS
Each destination will have different options for how to get there. The train system in Italy is excellent and I highly recommend taking it whenever possible. The high speed train from Rome to Florence is only 90 minutes and there are several per hour during the daytime. It would be a 3.5 hour car drive. When traveling from city to city the trains are the perfect solution since once you arrive in Rome or Florence or Venice you will not want to have a car while there anyway.
But the problem for weddings in Tuscany is that most are deep in the countryside and sometimes there is no train station nearby. It also depends on which airport the guests are flying into in Italy and where the villa is located. Tuscany is much larger than one expects and many of the roads are small, winding country roads. Often a beautiful, fortunate drive but it does takes time.
Renting a car is always an option for those who are comfortable doing do. It also gives you independence traveling throughout Italy before and after the wedding celebration. As mentioned above trains may be a good option depending on the circumstances. For the overwhelming majority of weddings that we plan in Tuscany we arrange for a bus to take guests from Rome to the villa in Tuscany. When given the option most clients will opt for the organised bus. In order to keep costs down try to organise one bus going up and one coming back. For example if the wedding festivities begin on a Wednesday then arrange for the bus to depart Rome at noon on Wednesday. Whoever wishes to avail themselves of the bus needs to make their travel plans so that they will be able to catch the bus in Rome at that time. On the RSVP card of your invitations along with any meal preferences ask if they intend to be on the bus and if so to indicate their flight number and arrival time. If that same wedding finishes on Saturday morning then arrange for a bus to depart the villa at about 11:00 am. Most likely if there are about 50 guests then likely 35-40 will be on the bus.
LOCAL TRADITIONS TO INCORPORATE INTO YOUR TUSCAN WEDDING
In Tuscany the local culture is transmitted through the wine, olive oil and cuisine. The bounty of Tuscany comes from the earth. Additionally it can be charming to give small bottles of extra virgin olive oil or truffled olive olive as favors or to have local musicians playing traditional Italian songs. Hand painted ceramics are also typical of the region.
THE HIGHLIGHTS OF EVERY SEASON WHEN PLANNING YOUR TUSCANY WEDDING
The overwhelming majority of Tuscan villas and hotels are open from April though October. They are closed over the winter. The daytime weather in the Spring or Autumn is ideal — warm and sunny but the evenings are often too cold to have events outside. I think that this is particularly charming for small groups under 25 persons where the inside spaces can accommodate the dinners or dancing if they need to be moved indoors in a heartbeat. For large weddings over 50-80 persons you will need to plan for one or two tents if the location does not have sufficient spaces indoors for 1) the ceremony, 2) cocktail hour, 3) seated dinner and 4) dancing. That’s a lot of back up spaces.
Spring: The days are generally lovely and sunny but the evenings are less reliable and May can be rainy. The flowers and greenery come back slowly well into May.
Summer June through August: This is the busiest and most expensive time of the year. It is high season in Tuscany and most of Italy. The days can be hot and less pleasant but the evenings are sublime and perfect for outdoor dinners and celebrations. In addition there is less chance of rain in the summer. If you have everyone staying at the same villa you can plan a pool party with DJ for the afternoon which is a fun way to beat the heat. I much prefer to have large or more elaborate weddings in the summertime since it is hard to be flexible with a change in the weather when you need to accommodate 100+ persons.
Autumn: Tuscany is very beautiful during the daytime in late September and October when the grapes are being harvested for the wine. Tuscany seems in its element in this season and it is my favorite time of year in all of Italy…when traveling with just a few people or planning events for a smaller group. But with good planning and back up options the autumn in Tuscany is magical.